Through My Eyes
by LoveForLove
Summary: This story starts out being told by my cat, Sammy. He's been my best friend since I was 4 years old. This is one of my 1st ever short stories. Its very intense and sad, but one of my favorites. The dream, the characters, and the relationships are real.


I loved watching her sleep. I lay beside her, watching as her chest rose and fell as she breathed in and out. I liked watching Katelyn sleep more than any of the other humans living with me. At first, I didn't know how a mere human could fascinate me so, especially as they slept. But, Katelyn is just… different. She's shy, preferring to talk (and think) to herself or animals around her rather than with her family and friends. _But why_, I thought, _do I like to watch her sleep?_ Usually Katelyn sleeps soundlessly, rolling around every few hours. She only snores when she's sick or sleeping on her stomach. Although on certain occasions, she talks in her sleep. Tonight was one of those occasions.

I always wonder what humans dream about. Do they dream of canned food as do I? Do they dream of rolling in the freshly fallen leaves like I do? I never have to wonder what Katelyn dreams about! If she doesn't talk in her sleep, she'll tell me all about her dreams when she awakes. Although I can't really tell her how I feel about her strange dreams, she always seems to know just what I wanted to say. She's such a special girl; she just doesn't believe it yet. Or she doesn't want to believe it. Stupid humans.

I mean don't get me wrong I love humans (especially Kate), they water, feed me, buy me treats and toys, play with me, and let me sleep in their warm beds. But, some of them are so clueless about the beautiful world around them.

Katelyn rolled over, so we were face to face. "You won't hurt me…" she said in her dazed emotionless voice. (She was indeed asleep.) Her face scrunched up slightly, as if she were cringing. She rolled over so her face was in the pillow. She mumbled something, but I couldn't make it out. She turned again so her face was towards the ceiling, lying on her back. She cringed again, and then a single tear ran down her cheek.

I had never in my eight years of life seen a human shed tears in their sleep. Not even Katelyn. I didn't know it was possible. I wondered what gruesome, heartbreaking dream her imagination had created. I was bewildered and worried about her.

She's a fairly enthusiastic person, yet her dreams bring her great sorrow. When she describes them to me, they sound so real it's scary. At least it is to me. However, most of her dreams (she tells me) she can't figure out if their good or bad. When she has a good dream, or vivid memory, she usually dreams them again. She's so strange… yet… so fascinating… and beautiful in her own way. Nearly all humans are.

She groaned and I thought that she may have been waking up. But instead, she mumbled, "You said yourself we could make it." She whispered it, although there was power in the words she spoke. Tears were streaming down her face, silently but rapidly. Suddenly she stopped moving around. Her breathing stopped, her eyes stayed closed. Her lips parted slightly. Though she had stopped breathing, the tears still fell. I wondered if she had died. I decided now would be an appropriate time to wake her. I nuzzled her head with my own- trying to wake her up. She slowly opened her eyes, looking straight into my eyes. She smiled at me. She sat up straight, wiping her eyes; she stopped abruptly and looked at her hands, which looked like she had dipped them in a bucket of water.

"Was I crying?" She asked me. I tilted my head to the right as if to say 'how should I know? I'm just a dumb cat'. She smiled wider and laughed. I wagged my short tail (My family didn't cut it; I was born with a 4 inch tail). Katelyn knew I was happy that she was awake, and she seemed to be content. I wagged my tails in all direction. Humans think it's cute when I do.

Katelyn put her head back down on her pillow. I nibbled at her hand; no way was I going to let her go to sleep without telling me about her dream. Instead of telling me (or even looking at me) she stared up at the ceiling for several minutes. She sighed deeply then closed her eyes. I almost began to nibble on her nose, but I decided against it. It was the middle of the night. I knew how humans loved their sleep, they were grumpy without it. After almost 30 minutes of watching Katelyn sleep soundlessly and calmly, I dozed off myself.

"Why?" I demanded. I stared desperately into his dark brown eyes. I usually thought of them as chocolate, but now they looked like mud. He didn't answer. "You won't hurt me! You can't." I cried. He tilted his head up to look me in the eyes. I was trying to fight back the tears. He looked at me right in the eyes, as if to look into my very soul. As if the answer was in there. He looked like he wanted to tell me something, yet he remained silent. "You say you love me, but you choose to leave me!" His face looked so sincere, like he was really sorry. His hair moved over his eyes even though there was no breeze. A part of me wanted to move it out of his face and fall into his arms. The stronger part of me didn't even want to touch him. He looked down at the ground and finally said,

"I can't stay here, I can't stay with you. I don't want to hurt you. I still love you and I always will. I just… just… don't want to get you in trouble." I couldn't stop the tears from falling now.

"You said yourself we could make it through anything." I said calmly and coldly. He sighed and took a step towards me. "I-" I cut him off.

"By leaving me you're hurting me!" I shouted. He stared at the ground.

"I have to. I can't bear to be the cause of your pain any longer. It's killing me from the inside out." He wouldn't meet my eyes, and proceeded to stare at the ground. I didn't want to look at him anymore, so I stared at the ground too. I didn't know what to say. I didn't want to say anything. He looked at me but I still stared at the ground. I was still crying.

_Is this what you want? _I thought. _I'm going to cry you a river and you can drown in it. _I was starring at his feet now. His hand reached out to me, and he gently tilted my head up, so I could look into his eyes. My body remained paralyzed. Although, my head was saying: "Move you stupid girl! He doesn't _deserve_ your love! He's going to _leave you_! This _isn't what you want_!" it was true. He didn't deserve it, he is leaving, and I wanted him to stay. My body remained still. I couldn't resist- I looked into his eyes. His hand felt so warm against my cold cheek. I wanted him to hold me close. I knew it was too late for that.

He moved his face towards mine. _He's going to kiss me._I realized. "MOVE! MOVE! MOVE!" my brain screamed. I held very still as his lips slowly and gently pressed against mine. His hand moved off my cheek and stopped at my waist. He was holding me.

Was this how my love story ends? In romance stories they usually ended happily ever after, with a kiss like this one. I wasn't going to get my happy ending. He was kissing me good-bye. This would feel his lips against mine. The last time our crosses would pass. This was the end of my story.

I realized I was kissing him back. He tasted familiar, like home. I wouldn't admit it, but I wanted to stay this way forever. I moved my arms so they were around his neck. His hands remained around my waist. He was so warm! I could feel the heat of his hands on my waist. _Like home, _I thought. _You stupid girl_, my mind scolded me. _As soon as he lets go, he's going to leave you. _Though I knew it was true, I didn't let go. I was never going to let go of this.

He broke the kiss, his hands still lingering on my waste. My arms were still around his neck. He moved closer and hugged me, my head resting on his shoulders. Even though a part of me wanted to, I didn't hug him back. His shoulder was getting wet, because I was still crying.

He whispered only three words in my ear before he let go and left me forever.

"I love you."

I woke with a start. That's the third time I've had that dream. Sammy nuzzled my head. I smiled at him. I petted his head and listened to him purr. He wagged his little tail. Sammy was a blue-gray cat, with eyes that turned from yellow to green frequently. He wasn't just my pet, he was my best friend. He let out a "mew" that sounded like a kitten. He was probably waiting for me to tell him about my dream. He had woken me up at nearly 4:30 in the morning. I probably disappointed him by going back to sleep.

"I had that dream again, Sammy" I told him, stroking his head. "I had it twice tonight." Sammy looked into my eyes as if to let me know he understood. He moved onto my stomach and nuzzled his head into my neck. He closed his eyes and went to sleep. This was his way of saying I didn't have to say anymore. I looked at my alarm clock, 9:00 A.M. it read. I didn't think I could go back to sleep. Honestly, I didn't want to. I shut my eyes. I knew I couldn't go back to sleep.

I couldn't believe I had been crying over _a boy. It's not worth it_, I told myself. _He's not worth it. _Another tear raced down my cheek. _Stop it!_ I scolded myself. It was bad enough I couldn't get him out of my head, now he had to stalk me in my dreams? But somehow, I knew it wasn't true. I wanted him to stay in my dreams, I wanted him to hold me and tell me he loved me. Just like he did every day before he left.

I wasn't crying over a boy, I tried to convince myself. I was crying for the reality. The reality that he would never kiss me again, that he would never hold me, the reality that no matter what I did- he would always leave me again. They always did. But this boy always came back for me, and I always said yes. He never left forever. I really believed him when he said he loved me and I still do. I love him back, whether I'll admit it or not.

Something about him… it might be the way his shaggy hair hangs in his eyes, or maybe the bad boy everyone sees on the outside and the wonderful romantic heart felt man I see on the inside. I may never know what brings us back together. No matter how much I lie to myself and say I hate him, I know I'll never be able to convince myself or anyone else.

The process will just repeat itself- he'll leave me (supposedly forever) with no good explanation, and then come right back with his sweet words and soft kiss. But how long- until he actually leaves and _doesn't_ come back? How long until he leaves forever, never to come back to hold me? How long… until I truly lose him forever?

"I hate all this drama." I said aloud, more to myself. Sammy looked up and nodded, he agreed with me. _We'll_, I thought, _I know of one person who will never leave me._ I stroked that person's head and smiled to myself. Sammy will always be there for me, even when he leaves after his long life.

I sighed and laid my head down on my pillow. Sammy rested his head on my stomach. I closed my eyes, and silently yet slowly, drifted back to sleep. But this time, I didn't dream (nor was I awoken by heartbreak). I was awaken by my cat, telling me in a way most wouldn't understand, that it was time to get up and stay up. Right then I decided one thing:

That my tears would never fall when I awake, my tears would only fall, secretly while I slept, for him.


End file.
